生活应当是我们珍惜的一种经验，而不是要捱过去的日子。生活在当下，是与幸福靠近的第一步。 让我们一步步走向幸福。
宝马车里装着的痛苦 最近我的一位朋友刚刚离婚，常常跑到我家来聊天诉苦。这位弟兄算是大家羡慕的成功人士吧，他在华尔街任分析师，年薪三十万美金，开宝马。我和他是大学同学，又都住在新泽西，现在已是无话不说。说来惭愧，我的年薪只有七万，还要带两个小孩和不工作的老婆，买房子是根本不用想了，也总被一些同学认为没出息。
我一向羡慕这个朋友，那么有追求，事业那么成功，看我这土老冒，安逸享乐，这辈子算浪费了。
本来我和老婆准备帮助这位朋友和他老婆和好的，但是我知道他们离婚的原因后，也觉得无话可说了，开始对生活有了新的认识。
他和老婆是大学同学，青梅竹马，让人羡慕。来美国后，两人都开始为学习生活努力，并且毕业工作两年后，弟兄被哥伦比亚大学录取去读MBA，毕业后又到华尔街工作，而我这时刚在一个学校找到职位，老婆也生了个儿子，羡慕死人家了。
可是不要只是看到这弟兄光鲜的外表，他的婚姻却正在经历痛苦。刚开始两人一起工作时，他老婆问要不要小孩，他说还有好多事没有做完，没有精力。在念 MBA时，每天早出晚归忙学习，连老婆也忽略了，老婆几次希望能亲密一下，他都已经睡着了。在华尔街工作后，老婆认为终于可以喘口气了，却不想他更是每天早出晚归，因为工作压力比念MBA还大。
又过了两年，我又有第二个女儿了，他的薪水加奖金也几乎是我薪水的3倍了，老婆却要和他离婚了。女人生小孩也有压力，她的年龄已经太大，不生就晚了；而他却天天忙工作，回到家不是太晚就是太累，他们亲密的机会很少。近来他发现自己已经阳痿了，试了几次都不行。老婆一气之下和他离婚了－－不是因为阳萎，而是觉得他不爱她。
听完他的诉苦，我无话可说。一直被大家羡慕的夫妻生活竟是这样过的，宝马装的竟全是痛苦。忽略了其他任何的一切。
钱是身外之物，生不带来，死不带走，赚那么多却没有机会花岂不是很悲哀。
我相信现在每年赚三十万的他，宁可花所有的钱来每年来买我的生活，我的老婆和小孩，可是为什么非要到太晚才觉悟呢？他现在正在找一个压力小薪水低的工作，可是谈何容易。除了其他华尔街公司要他做类似的职位外，几乎没有其他公司愿意出那么高价来聘用他。他薪水的一半对于一般的公司都太高了。他开玩笑说是走上了不归路。
生活的真正意义是你在死前回过头来问自己是不是活的很快乐，是不是对得起家人，而不是一辈子赚了多少钱。我们的小孩也根本不在乎他们是不是有高级玩具，而是有没有爸爸陪他们玩不花钱的游戏。
有人认为如果不趁年轻时赚钱将来怎么办。人不能活在将来，因为你怎么知道你有将来？你甚至怎么知道你有明天？未来？还有将来的将来？什么时候是你的今天？钱是永远也赚不完的。
但是你一定确定你有现在，你可以把现在活好。而且有没有出息并不是完全用钱来衡量的。对于我来说，我的出息是可以每天早早回到家陪家人吃饭和陪小孩玩。这也是有出息。
和大家分享另一个故事 多年前我跟悉尼的一位同学谈话。那时他太太刚去世不久，他告诉我说，他在整理他太太的东西的时候，发现了一条丝质的围巾，那是他们去纽约旅游时，在一家名牌店买的，那是一条雅致、漂亮的名牌围巾，高昂的价格标签还挂在上面，他太太一直舍不得用，她想等一个特殊的日子才用。
讲到这，他停住了，我也没接话，好一会后他说："再也不要把好东西留到特别的日子才用，你活着的每一天都是特别的日子!”
以后，每当我想起这几句话时，我常会把手边的杂事放下，找一本小说，打开音响，躺在沙上，抓住一些自己的时间。我会从落地窗欣赏淡水河的景色，不去管玻璃上的灰尘，我会拉着太太到外面去吃饭，不管家里的菜饭该怎么处理。
生活应当是我们珍惜的一种经验，而不是要捱过去的日子。
我曾经将这段谈话与一位女士分享，后来见面时，她告诉我她现在已不像从前那样，把美丽的磁具放在酒柜了。以前她也以为要留待特别的日子才拿出来用，后来发现那一天从未到来。
“将来”，“总有一天”已经不存在她的字典了。
如果有什么值得高兴的事，有什么得意的事，她现在就要好好体会，对没有拥有的事物，看淡些，不去想它。
我们常想跟老朋友聚一聚，但总是说“找机会”。我们常想拥抱一下已经长大的小孩，但总是等适当的时机。我们常想写封信给另外一半，表达一下浓郁的情意，或想让他知道你很在乎他/她，但总是告诉自己不急。
其实每天早上我们睁开眼睛时，都要告诉自己这是特别的一天。
每一天，每一分钟都是那么可贵。
有人说：你该尽情的跳舞，好象没有人在看你一样。你该尽情的用爱心对待所有人，好象从来不会受伤害一样。
我也要尽情的跳舞，尽情的爱。
PS：“留着、留着，不急不急，明天再说”，看完这篇文章后就想和这句话说再见。哪有那么多以后，谁晓得还有没有明天。别忘了今天、现在，做事是这样，体味幸福也一样。
译文:
The Pain in the BMW
Life is an experience that we should cherish, rather than the time we have to suffer. Life is the very moment, and it is the first step to approach happiness.
Let’ get close to happiness step by step!
The Pain in the BMW
One of my friends, who was divorced recently often come to my home and complains about it. This guy is a successful man that nearly everyone envies of. He is an analyst in Walt Street. His annul salary is 30,000＄, and his car is BMW. He and I were schoolmates in college, and we both lived in New Jersey. We are in each other’s confidence now. Come to speak of it, I am ashamed for my annul salary is only 7,000＄.What’s more, I have two children and a wife who doesn’t work. It is out of my consideration to buy a house. I’ve always thought to be no use by some of my schoolmates.
I’ve been envying this friend. He has great pursuit and his career is so brilliant. While I am only a bumpkin only seek easy and comfort. My whole life is wasted.
At first, my wife and I intended to help my friend and his wife become reconciled. But I could say nothing when I knew the reason they devoiced, and I begin to have new understanding of life.
He and his wife were schoolmates in college. They had a so good relationship that everyone envied. When came to American, they devoted themselves work and study. Worked two years after graduation, the guy was demitted to Columbia University to study MBA. Letter he worked in Walt Street. At that time, I got a job in a school. My wife just had given birth to a son, which is envied by him so much.
But don’t focus on his bright appearance. He was suffering the pain his marriage brought to him. When they started to work, the wife asked him whether to have a baby or not. He said they had no spirit because there were so many things to do. When doing MBA, he went out early but got back late, so neglected his wife. When she wanted to be intimate with him, only to find he was asleep. She thought they could take a breath when he worked in Walt Street. It was unexpected that things got worse for the pressure of work was even bigger than that of doing MBA.
Two years past, I got a daughter. His salary was nearly three times of mine. But he was divorced. His wife also had pressure for she was not young. If she didn’t have baby it would be late. While he was busy with his work and was too tired when got back, or it was too late. Recently, he found he was impotent. He tried a few times, but he couldn’t. His wife was angry and divorced with him—not for he was important but she thought he did not love her.
Heard his complain, I could say nothing. The marriage that everyone envied was just like this. It was pain in the BMW. He neglected every other thing.
Money is external of body, and never be brought with when he was born and die. It’s a great pity that people earn a lot of money but have no chance to spend them.
I believe he, who earn 300,000＄ a year, prefer to exchange for my life, my wife and my children with all of his money. But why came to understand so late? He is looking for a job that has a lower salary but less pressure. But how can it be easy! There’s hardly any other company wants to hire him with so high pay, except these in Walt Street for similar works. Half of his salary is too high to common companies. He joked that he had went to a no-return road.
The really meaning of life is whether you lived a happy life, whether you treated your family well, rather than how many money you earned when you look back at the time you are dying. What children really care is whether their father plays the free games with them, rather buying them expensive tolls.
Share another story with you
Many years ago, I had a talk with a Sidney friend, whose h wife died not long before. He told me he found a silk muffler when packing her things. That was a beautiful refined muffler, the label still hanging on it. She never worn and prepared it for a particular day.
He stopped, and I did not take over his word. A few moment later, he said, “Never reserve something for a particular day, because everyday is a special day when alive.
Hereafter, when I think of that word, I will put down the trifle on my hand, pick up a book, open the audio-video and lie in the sofa to enjoy myself. I will enjoy the scenery of the freshwater river from the French casement, not mind the dust on the glass. I will drag my wife to eat outside, caring about the leftovers.
Life is an experience that we should cherish, rather than the time we have to suffer.
Once I shared this word with a lady. When we meet again, she told me that she never like before. She never put the beautiful pottery on the drink cabinet to wait for a particular day.
“Future”, “Some day” will be never in use.
If there’s something let you feel happy or proud, do it now. Don’t think the useless things any more.
We often want to get together with our old friends, while always say “if there’s a chance”; We want to huge our grown up children, while always waiting for the moment; We want to write a letter to our beloved to let them know how we care about them, while we are never eager to realize it.
Acutely I will tell myself it is a special day every morning I wake up.
Every day, every minute, is so pressure.
Someone says, "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt.”
I will dance and love as I like.
PS: “ Don’t worry. Just leave it to tomorrow.” After you read this article, you may want to say goodbye to this word. Why so many future? Who knows whether there is tomorrow or not? Just do it today, now! Doing things should like this, so does enjoying happiness.