A new tape of another teenage beating has surfaced on the internet. First there was the brutal beating of teen in Florida by six of her classmates (while two boys were the look outs) that was videotaped for YouTube and MySpace. Then there was the videotape of a student pummeling her art teacher which hit MySpace. And now there is a schoolyard brawl between two middle school girls on the internet. In reality there are A LOT more of these kind of things online. Just search for “girl fights” on YouTube and you will find all kinds of videos like this. It’s just gotten a lot of press recently because of the Florida case.
Is this a new trend? Are our young people treating video of class fist fights like it’s entertaining episode of WWE (although I don’t find anything WWE at all entertaining)? If so, how do we stop this?
- Talk to your kids about appropriate material online. My kids (even my eight-year-olds and my five-year-old) all know we have rules when it comes to being online. There are certain things they can and cannot look at and there are certain things they can and cannot post online. We go over these rules often and even have our kids sign a contract stating they will follow our rules.
- Monitor their online activity. Check out their MySpace and Facebook pages. See what they are posting to YouTube. My kids understand that if they have a presence online I better know about it because the consequences of me finding it on my own are high and they so don’t want to go there.
- See what their friends are doing online. This is a little more difficult now that most kids have their profiles hidden unless you are their “friend,” but it can still be done. Ask your kids to show you a few of their friends’ sites. Search for ones that aren’t private. You’ll be able to find a few. See what videos your kids are linking to and marking as their favorites on YouTube.
- Communicate your rules with your kids. Your family has rules and expectations that should be followed both at home and out in the real world. Make sure you kids know what these rules are and are clear about them. Ask them if they have any questions about the rules.
- Go over the school rules. Make sure there are no questions there as well. Most of the time your home rules and the school rules will be very similar, but if there are some contradictions (such as religious things) talk about how your student should deal with that.
- Talk about violence in the media. How does what he sees effect him? How does she feel about violent movies and television programs? How can they rewrite those scripts to be less violent and more peaceful? Can they understand the difference between scripted “entertainment” and the real world?
- Teach your kids what to do if they find themselves in tough situations. What really disturbs me about this latest tape (besides the assault) is that so many kids are seen standing around doing nothing. You can even hear some laughing. It just makes my stomach turn. We need to make sure our kids know how to do the right thing. Standing there watching is not the right thing. There are no innocent bystanders. If you aren’t actively trying to stop the assault then you are silently supporting it.
- Go get a teacher or adult.
- DO NOT get out your cell phone to videotape it.
- Do get out your cell phone to call 9-1-1 if no adult is around.
- DO NOT get involved in the fight. Unless there is a big group who can safely restrain the fighters it’s best to stay out of it for your own safety.
- Teach kids how to resolve conflict without fighting. It seems like more and more kids are using their fists to resolve a disagreement rather than their words. Teach them to count to 10, walk away, lean on a friend, talk to a counselor or trusted teacher, write a letter they don’t intend to send and many other things they can do to calm down that don’t involve beating up another student or teacher. They don’t have to like everybody, but they do need to be respectful.
If we don’t do our jobs as parents to educate our children on being respectful, then how can we expect them to be good citizens when they are out in the world on their own? Many of these kids aren’t bad kids, they just need their parents to help them find ways to do the right thing. Make sure your kids know how to do the right thing.
译文:
如何确保你的孩子不为YouTube录制打架视频（厌倦，家长：父母的tweens与青少年）
一段新的青少年打架录像已经在互联网上出现。这段视频是为YouTube（全球最具人气视频社区网站） 和 MySpace（“我的空间”，美国在线社交网站名称）而录制的。视频上首先出现的是一个在佛罗里达州的女孩被六位同班同学（然当时另外两个男孩在旁观)野蛮殴打的情景。然后视频上出现了一个学生用拳头连续敲打她的艺术老师，这一幕使得MySpace的点击率超高。现在互联网上又有一个视频录像，说的是两个中学的女生们在学校运动场上发生争吵的场面。事实上，这类视频在互联网上数不胜数。只要在YouTube和MySpace上输入"女生打架”这一关键词进行搜索, 你将会找到各种类似这样的视频。佛罗里达州的案子已给这些视频网站造成了很大的压力。
难道这是一种新的趋势？我们的年轻人对待校园打架视频是否就像在欣赏一段有趣的世界摔跤娱乐一样呢（虽然我觉得摔跤毫无有趣可言）？如果答案是肯定的话，我们又该如何阻止这一趋势？
和你的孩子谈论有关适用于他们这个年龄的网上材料。我的孩子们（即使一个八岁和一个五岁）都知道，当他们上网的时候，我们对他们是制定有规则的。有些东西他们可以看，有些却不能；有些东西可以发到网上，有些却不允许他们发。我们经常一起复习这些规则，甚至还让我的孩子签下一个协议，声明他们将会遵守我们定下的规则。
监督孩子们的上网活动。检查他们在“我的空间”和“脸谱网”登录过的页面。看看他们在YouTube上上传了什么东西。我的孩子们知道如果他们在网上设立了网页，我会对此很清楚，因为我自行发现他们这些举动的几率是很高的，这样一来他们就不敢涉足哪些他们不该到的网页。
了解一下他们的朋友都在网上做些什么。由于大多数孩子都会隐藏他们的资料，所以就目前来说，要了解他们的网络活动是有一定难度的，除非你是他们的“朋友”。但是，就算不是他们的朋友，我们也同样可以了解到他们的网络行为。向你的孩子们要一些他们朋友的站点，搜索其中一些公开的，你就可以发现一些蛛丝马迹，这能了解到你的孩子们都在链接到什么样的视频，还有他们在YouTube上最喜欢些什么东西。
和你的孩子就你们定下的规则进行交流。你总会有一些家规，并期望家人无论是在家还是在外都能够遵守。确保你的孩子们了解这些规则并将它弄得一清二楚。还可以问问他们是否对这些规定存有疑问。
仔细阅读一下校规。确保也不要在校规上出什么乱子。很多时候家里的规矩和校规有许多相似的地方，但是如果有一些相互矛盾的地方（比如在宗教方面），你就得和你的学生探讨一下了，和他们聊聊他们应该如何处理这些矛盾的问题。
和孩子们探讨媒体上的暴力事件。比如，他看到的暴力事件是如何影响他的？对待带有暴力倾向的电影和电视节目，她的感觉是什么？如何改写这些稿子，使其暴力倾向降低，使之看起来更能使人感到心境平和？他们能不能把这种暴力“娱乐”和真实世界的不同之处区分开来。
告诉你的孩子们，一旦他们处于这种棘手的暴力环境中，他们应该做些什么。最新出炉的视频（除了殴打之外）使我确实感到不安的是很多小孩都只是袖手旁观。你甚至还能听一些笑声。这真是让我感到痛心。我们需要让我们的孩子知道他们应该做些什么。袖手旁观是不对的。旁观者也有罪。要是你不主动地去阻止殴打行为，那你就是在默许这种行为。
· 向老师或者其他大人求助
· 不要掏出手机录下这种情景
· 要是没有大人在周围，拿出手机打911报警
· 不要参与打斗，除非有一大群人能够阻止肇事者。为了你的安全，最好不要贸然介入打斗。
教孩子们该如何非暴力地解决矛盾冲突。在解决分歧问题上，似乎越来越多的孩子喜欢用拳头说话，而非道理。他们可以做很多事情来使自己冷静下来，这样一来就不会去参与打老师打同学的不良活动。大可以教他们从一数到十，或走开,或诉诸朋友，顾问或可信任的老师，或者写一封不打算寄出去的信。他们大可不必去喜欢每一个人，但却不可以对他人不敬。
如果我们不能尽到做父母的责任，不教育他们要尊重他人，那我们又怎么能够奢望当他们进入社会之后能做个好公民呢？其实在这些孩子中，大多数人的本质都是好的，他们需要的只是家长的正确引导。要让孩子们知道如何去做正确的事情。