We choose our friend by instinct,but keep them by judement.
More than 30 years ago,when I took my first job in New York City, I found myself working with a number of young women.Some I got to know just in passing,but others gradually became my friends.Today,six of these women remain an important part of my life.They are more than simply friends,more even than close friends.They are old friends,as indispendsable as sunshine and more dear to me than ever.These people share a long-standing history with me,In fact,old friends are a lot like promise.They put reliability into the uncertainty of life and establish a reassuring link between the past,present,and future.
The attachment between friends who have known each other for many years is bound to be complex.On occasion we are exceedingly close,and at other times one or both of us invariably step back.Ebb and flow.Thick and thin.How smoothly and gently we neotiate these hills and valleys has everything to do with how well the friendship ages.
Sometimes events intervene in a way that requires us to rework he term of a relationship.A friend starts a second career,let's say,and suddenly has less free time.Another remarries,adding someone new to the equation.Talk honestly and listen to each other to find out if the other's needs are being met.Renegotiating pays full tribute to life's inevitable changes and says that we deem our friendships worthy of preserving.
Old friends are familiar with the layers of our lives.They have been there in the gloom and the glory,Even so,there's always room to know more about another person.Of course,self-disclosure can make even old friends more vulnerable,so go slowly:Confiding can open new doors,but only it we knock first.
Time is the prime commodity between old friends-by this I mean the time doing things together.Whether it's face to face over a cup of coffee.side by side while jogging,ear to ear over the phone,or via email and letters,don't let too much time go by without sharing your thoughts with each other.
译文:
老朋友，好朋友
我们选择朋友靠的是本能，但保持友谊靠的是判断。
三十年多年前，我在纽约市找到第一份工作时，与一些年轻的女士一起工作。她们中的一些只是见面打了个招呼而已，而其他的则是渐渐成了我的朋友。直到今天，她们中的六位仍然在我的生活中起着非常重要的作用，她们是老朋友。对我来讲她们就象阳光一样必不可少，比任何时候都更珍贵。她们与我共享过去长久的时光。实际上，老朋友很多时候更像是一种承诺。她们是变化不定的生活中可以依赖的人，她们用令人安心的纽带连接起了过去、现在和将来。
如果两个朋友已经相识多年，他们之间的感情必定非常复杂。有时候超乎想象地亲近，有时候一个人或两个人无可改变地后退。潮起潮落，祸福与共。我们如何平静柔和地对待这些起起落落直接影响到友谊的进展。
有时，某些事情的介入需要我们重新界定彼此的关系。比如说，一个朋友有了新的职业，自由时间突然减少了。另外一个朋友再婚了，给我们之间的等式增加了新人。诚恳地交谈，彼此倾听，看一看对方的需要有没有得到满足。这种重新的对待是无常的世事所需，同时也使我们相信我们之间的友谊是值得维持下去的。
老朋友尽悉我们生活的每一个层面。他们与我们共同经历了生活中的阴暗和辉煌。即便如此，我们仍需要不断地进一步了解彼此。当然，自我坦白会使朋友——即使是老朋友也不例外——更脆弱，所以一定要慢慢来：倾诉可以打开一扇门，但我们必须事先敲门。
时间是老朋友之间最主要的日用品——这里，我是指一起共同渡过的时光。朋友之间一定要时常分享彼此的思想，这可以是彼此对坐，共饮一杯咖啡，或并肩慢跑，或电话中彼此倾听，或彼此发送电子邮件或写信。