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Note: This is a guest post by David B. Bohl of SlowdownFAST.
Children are like little sponges. Without us even realizing it, they soak up every last thing we say and do. Much to our chagrin, they usually disclose the most embarrassing or intimate details to total strangers, at the most inappropriate moments. They seem to just have a natural gift for it.
If we pay attention to what our children say to us, though, we realize just how much they pay attention to us. They look to us to set the example, to be their guidance, and to teach them right from wrong. They want us to establish boundaries for them, and they learn from us how to behave, and how to treat others.
As we go about our busy lives it is important to ask ourselves what kind of example we are setting for our children. What we do and say shapes the people they will become, so we need to stop for a moment and take into account what kind of future adults we are creating.
The push to create work life balance has been gaining momentum. It is important to maintain this balance for the emotional well being of your children, as well as for yourself.
1. Take Time to Play.
Playing is a good thing. As responsible adults, we forget how to laugh and be silly, and our children teach us important lessons in enjoying life and cherishing simple pleasures.
Take the time to run, giggle, tickle, and be goofy. Put your adult self away for a while and allow your inner child to come out and play. You will develop a bond with your own child in a way that nothing else can accomplish. You will be building memories that both of you can cherish for a lifetime, and you will be tending your relationship with your child so that it remains healthy.
Playing also nurtures your own well being. It reaffirms your work life balance is being maintained, and allows your mind freedom from its daily chains to the working world. After all, how serious can you be when you are rolling around on the grass, being taken advantage of by a four-year-old in the world’s greatest tickle fight?
2. Be Kind to Others.
Our children look to us to set the example in learning how to deal with others. You are directly responsible for teaching them manners, gratitude, acceptance, friendship, and a whole host of other behaviors that will determine their future success, both in the working world and in personal relationships.
Make sure you are teaching them habits that will serve them well as you interact with other people in your life. Telling your child to treat people a certain way does not carry nearly the same weight as demonstrating it.
3. Keep a Positive Outlook.
Your own mental outlook on life will carry over to your child’s. If you view life as fraught with insurmountable challenges, bad luck, and impossible goals, that is likely how your child will grow to view life.
Why not start him out with a mindset that will lead him to success by teaching him to be positive, optimistic, and hopeful. Teach him that life is full of wonderful possibilities waiting to be explored, and that he can achieve anything as long as he believes in himself. Do this by practicing it yourself, and you will both experience tremendous fulfillment.
As we travel through life with our children, we become responsible for so much more than our own happiness and success. Our actions not only affect our childrens’ lives right now, but will directly affect the outcome of their lives many years from now. Our children are our legacy, and what we leave behind when our turn here is done is precious.
Set the stage for their success, and leave a living legacy behind that you can be proud of. Invest in your children now, and every single day for the rest of your life. You will reap rewards in terms of a more satisfying life, and you will develop deeper bonds with your children. You will build a relationship that will sustain you both throughout the remainder of your days, and when you look back on your life, you will have no regrets.
David B. Bohl writes about living your vision at his own blog: SlowdownFAST. If you enjoyed this article, you may like to subscribe to his feed, or read one of his most popular articles, Conflicting Desires: Knowing That We Have Enough vs. Always Wanting to Better Ourselves.
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译文:
为孩子树立榜样的3种重要方式
注：本文是大卫在博客SlowdownFSAT中写给读者的一封邮件
孩子们就像一块块小海绵，我们还没来得及发现，他们就学会了很多大人的言行。更让我们懊恼的是，他们常常会在最不合适的时候跟陌生人说一些令人为难的私事。似乎小孩子天生就是这样的。
如果我们多注意孩子对我们说的话，我们就能意识到他们有多关注我们。他们希望我们树立榜样，指导他们，并且教他们区分好坏。他们希望我们为他们界定范围，向我们学习怎样去做，怎样对待他人。
当我们忙着生活时，问问自己到底给孩子树立了什么样的榜样，这是很重要的。我们的言行会影响他们将来成为什么样的人，所以我们必须停下来考虑一下我们究竟在塑造一个什么样的人。
平衡工作与生活的动力有很强劲的势头。对于你的孩子以及你自己来说，维持这种平衡是很重要的。
1. 花点时间去玩耍
玩耍是件好事情。作为成人，我们忘记了怎样笑，怎样傻，正是孩子们给我们上了重要的一课，教我们怎样享受生活，怎样享受小小的快乐。
花点时间去跑步，去开开玩笑，让自已傻一点。把成人的架势放一边去，让你内心里的童真释放出来好好玩玩，这样就可以和你的孩子建立一种可以胜任任何事关系，给你自已和孩子留下可以珍藏一辈子的回忆，并且有助于你和孩子保持良好的关系。
玩耍同样有助于你更好的生活，因为玩耍可以更好的维持工作与生活的平衡点，让你的思想从日常的繁琐中解放出来。当你在草地上打滚时，当你在这场世界上最有趣的战争中被孩子打败时，你会有多糟糕呢？
2. 友好的对待他人
孩子们学着我们怎样与他人相处，所以你有责任教他们待人礼貌、感激、赞赏、友好等一些在工作以及人际关系方面决定他们将来成功与否的行为表现。
确保你教他们的那些习惯是会使他们受用的，因为你正影响着你生命中的其他人。教你的孩子用某种方式去对待他人，但是在实践给他们看时要保留一定的余地让他们自己发挥。
3. 保持乐观的人生观
你的精神观会影响到你的孩子。如果你把生活看作是充满重重挑战的、倒霉的、难以实现目标的不愉快的经历，你的孩子很可能就带着这种人生观长大。
为什么不让他带着那能引导他成功的态度启程呢？教他要积极乐观，要充满希望，告诉他生活中有很多精彩的事等着他去探索，只要相信自己他就能达到任何目标。同时你自己也要这样做，你将会得到很大的满足感。
与孩子们一路走来，我们要付出比在自己的幸福和成功上所付出的还要多的责任。我们的行为不仅影响了他们现在的生活，而且会对他们多年后的生活产生直接影响。孩子们就是我们的遗产，我们转过身会发现我们所留下的是多么的珍贵。
为他们的成功设置一个舞台，为自己留下一个值得骄傲的遗产。现在就开始利用你余生的每一天在孩子身上投资吧。你将会收获一段更令人满意的岁月，你和孩子间的关系会发展得更牢固。你们将会建立一种能维持一生之久的关系，当你们回头看时，你们都不会遗憾。
大卫在他的博客SlowdownFAST中写了很多关于生活、梦想的文章。如果你喜欢这篇文章，你可能会觉得他的文章很合你的胃口，你还可以阅读他其中一片最有名的文章，叫作《矛盾的愿望：认识我们所拥有的与总是想做得更好》。
如果你喜欢这篇文章，在“Stumbleupone”这一栏中竖个大拇指吧。谢谢！