孤独，像漫漫长夜一样让人难耐、惊慌，甚至有一种“万径人踪灭”的凄凉。但也正因为孤独如此难挨，能够与孤独为友的人才真正具有强大的内心。对于孤独，只能勇敢面对，而不能像灰尘一样擦去，孤独是永远也抹不去的心灵阴翳。如何面对孤独呢？周国平说：“人们往往把交往看作一种能力，却忽略了独处也是一种能力，并且在一定意义上是比交往更为重要的一种能力。反过来说，不擅交际固然是一种遗憾，不耐孤独也未尝不是一种很严重的缺陷。”个人非常赞同，最复杂的人不是别人，正是我们自己，也只有我们自己才能洞察皮囊下的自我。
一旦你选择的是正确的，那么几乎肯定你或多或少是孤独的。最根本的原因在于，大多数人并不认同正确的事情——无论在哪方面。
确实从来都只有很少的人在做正确的事情。在你读书一字不漏的时候，无数的人认为“在信息爆炸的时代里精读已经过时了，只有快速阅读、泛读才能够有效应对。”——而事实上，他们不知道精读做久了，阅读速度自然就会不停翻翻，但是，所谓快速阅读、泛读，其实只不过是以“遗漏”信息（甚至可能是大量信息）为代价。
当你决心减肥而开始去健身房锻炼的时候，更多的人不仅会表示不理解，甚至可能劝你与她一起去“针灸减肥”。她们说“锻炼多累啊！”——事实上，锻炼之后的二十分钟之后就会精力更加旺盛；她们“跑步会使腿变粗的！”——事实上，那只不过是因为她们只坚持了一小段时间就随即放弃了造成的……
当你开始准备留学，知道需要参加凭实力才能胜出的考试进而认真准备的时候，更多的人在痴迷于寻找各式各样的技巧。看你在认真阅读文章，他们会告诉你 “都是么时代了？其实学点技巧就可以做到不用读文章也能做对题目的！不信我给你做两道题看看？”——事实上呢？事实上用所谓的技巧从来都不可能做对所有的题目，只能做对一部分而已（通常这一部分不会超过51%的比率），而在留学考试中要做到做对90%以上的题目才有效……
当你工作之余开始把扔掉许多年的英语（工作经验使你确认英语确实非常有用）捡起来的时候，有多少次你听到类似的同时也非常普遍的言论“中国人会说中国话就可以了，何必那么劳累自己崇洋媚外？”——事实上，他们是学不会而已，要是真的有机会学会了，他们也不大可能这么说。多懂一门语言，就有机会接触到另外一个世界，有何不好呢？
分析风险与收益的能力每个人各不相同，出发点也不尽然相同。于是，很可能出现这种情况：你身边的人真的是出于关心与爱护而劝阻你实际上对你有益但他们却认为不仅对你无益甚至有害的目标。尽管不可能总是出现这种情况，但这是情况确实存在；对那些从不停止自己的脚步执着前行的人来讲，更是如此。于是，真的非常有必要学会“默默地去做自己的事情，做好了做完了，别人知道也行不知道也罢”的态度。
阻力与不理解倒也罢了。有些时候，你的行动多少有些风险的时候，你当然会发现有很多人之所以“观望”实际上是在用你承担风险的结果衡量他们自己行动的安全。现在，我个人并不觉得那些人这么做是卑鄙的，也不觉得他们这么做是会损害我的任何利益——如果我的行动能够帮助他人确实没什么不好。但是，这是许多年后成熟的我挣扎着弄明白的事情。我清楚地记得年轻一点的时候，身边的那种“观望”的态度和行为给“尚未开化”的我造成的负面影响；而今也常常庆幸自己竟然懵懵懂懂走了过来，不再受其影响的同时，也清楚地认识到他们并没有做错什么——那只是一种行动风格而已。
有些人可能是运气好或者是天分佳，很小就基于“试错”总结出了经验进而减少了许多负担——总是尝试着在不告诉任何人的情况下独立追求自己的目标。他们不与身边的人讨论自己正在做的事情，他们早已经知道说出来不仅解决不了任何问题，反倒只不过是浪费时间而已。他们甚至习惯了说反话，人家问“你在做什么？”，他们回答说“发呆呗……”；人家问“这些天你都干什么了？”他们回答说“也没干啥……”；人家问“哇！你是怎么做到的！”，他们“很低调”地回答 “我也觉得奇怪呢……”可惜，我小时候不会如此应对；甚至更惨的是竟然肤浅地相信了他们所说的话，一方面自信心受挫，另外一方面居然天真的以为“发呆”与 “无所事事”也可能带来“惊喜”……
有些时候，孤独真的不是坏事儿。因为，独处会使自己更容易全神贯注于自己应该做的事情上去。很多人之所以一事无成的最根本原因就是花费了太多的时间“与人打交道”——乃至于没有花费足够的时间与精力在自己应该做的最重要的事情上去，即，没有花费足够的时间与精力在我们前面提到过的“自己百分之百认同的目标”上去。
知道自己的时间有限的同时，坚信自己的目标是现实的，确认自己的行动是正确的，清楚自己的计划是可行的，那么，大多数情况下根本就没必要“忍受孤独”。正如前次我们看到对目标的百分之百认同之后，“坚持”就可以被“自然”代替、“等待”就会被“继续”代替一样，一旦了解所谓“孤独”的本质，负面情绪就会随之消失，“忍受”很可能就会被“享受”替代。其实很多的时候，负面情绪之所以出现，是因为之前并没有想清楚造成的。via
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译文:
How To Deal With Solitude
Solitude, unbearable and darkling as boundless night, materializes a state of lornness--From path to path, no one in sight.① However, it is the unbearableness that shows the powerful soul of the being who friends with solitude. As for solitude, you cannot erase it like wiping away dust but to confront it, since solitude is an irremovable gloom in heart. How to confront solitude? As is anwsered by Zhou Guoping②, "People often regard communication as a competence, while they neglect being alone is the same; even to some extent, it exceeds the former. On the contrary, although it's no doubt a pity being insociable, being intolerable to loneliness will never make you perfect." Individualy I applaud for this. The most complicated persons isn't "others" but "ourselves". Only the self could perceive the selfhood wrapped by the flesh.
Once your choice is correct, it more or less makes you feel lonely. The essence is that the majority seldom hold the truth, of no matter what fields.
Certainly, there is always the minority doing the right thing.
When you read without any word skipped over, countless people consider perusal outdated in the era of information explosion, and deem speedreading and extensive reading efficient. Nevertheless, they are ignorant of the fact that reading speed will spontaneously accelerate after longtime perusing; while the so called speedreading and extensive reading actually save time at the cost of omitting information (even in large quantity).
When you determine to exercise in gyms in order to lose weight, numerous people don't understand it and even advise you to have an acupuncture therapy with them. They will say, "Exercise will exhaust you!" --In fact, you will be full of energy after twenty-minute exercising; or say, " Running will thicken your legs!"--That result, however, comes from running just a short period of time and giving up easily.
When you are doing preparation to study abroad, holding the notion that you can pass the exam only with your competence and master of knowledge, more and more people are buried in finding various shortcuts. They will tell you, who is earnestly reading, "What's the age it is? It's an age when you can get the right answer merely through skills rather than reading the text. Don't believe that? I'll prove it." Actually, those so called skills or shortcuts could never help you solve every question, at best, only a part of that (normally, less than 51 percent). In the entrance exam for foreign education, you should make out more than 90 percent keys.
When you finish work and begin to restart your English learning which you've ceased for a long time for you know the importance of it with long time of working experience, you will hear the words like, "Chinese just speak Chinese. There's no need wasting time and energy to worship foreign culture." The reason is that they can't speak English. If they can, they won't say something like that. Having one more language at your fingers provides more accessibilities to another world.
The capacity and the springboard of analizing risks and profits varies from individual to individual. A phenomenon may pop up therewith: For the best, people surronding you may prevent you dealing with the goal beneficial which they consider harmful. Despite that it's a rare situation, it really exists, especially in the life of those who never give up and always persevere in there decisions. Thus, it's inevitable to hold such an attitude--Do your business silently. Period, and never mind whether others knowing about it.
In addition to obstacle and misunderstanding, the reason why many people find out how the wind blows when you meet risks just because they want to use the result to measure the safe degree of the ventures for themselves. Now, I don't consider them despicable, nor impairer to me. If my experience could help others, why not set it as a model? But I realize the truth after years of entanglement in my mind. I still remember when I was young, that attitude and behaviour caused many negative influences on "unenlightened" me. At the same time, I felicitate myself for the enlightenment and never being affected by these influences again. Moreover, I clearly understand that they have no fault and it's just a sort of style.
Maybe some people are lucky and born with talent, they failed and got experience when they were young and got rid of lots of burdens henceforth. Because they try to seize their goal without telling others. They don't discuss their tasks with others for they've known that it won't help them more; instead, it will waste their time. They've even been accustomed of misstatement. When you ask, "What are you doing?" they'll answer, "well, just in a daze..." If you ask, " What did you do these days?", their answer will be, "Nothing..." While being admired, "Wow, how can you do that?", "I feel odd, too..."says them "modestly". It's a pity that we didn't understand the meaning behind their words and even believed in them when we were children. On one hand, our confidence were frustrated; on the other hand, we childishly thought being "in a daze" or "at grass" might recieve surprise.
Sometimes, solitude do not harm you for being in solitude can help you concentrate on your business. The reason why many people accomplish nothing roots in the fact that they spend so much time socializing themselves that they haven't enough time and energy for the most important goal, which, as we said former, we persist with one hundred percent effort.
It's unnecessary to "endure" solitude if we are aware of the finiteness of time as well as the reality of our aim, the correctness of our action, and the feasibility of our plan. Just as last time, we saw if we persist our goal with one hundred percent effort, "persistence" will be replaced by "spontaneousness", and "continuing on" will take the place of "waiting", once we perceive the essence of solitude, the negative feeling will disappear, and "enjoyment" may substitute "endurance". For the most time, the emergence of negative emotion is led by lack of deep consideration. via
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