All children are vulnerable, but children whose parents broke up might be even more exposed to a predator’s hooks. Nicole was molested by a 29 year old man when she was only 12. He crept into her life through her computer, gained her trust, used her vulnerablilities, and took advantage of her in all the worst of ways, using a fight she’d had with her father to wedge himself into her heart.
“I was fighting with my dad,” recalled Nicole, whose parents are divorced. “He said my dad was wrong for fighting with me. He told me he loved me. I thought, ‘Wow,’ he’s real.”
Nicole and her mother are fighting predators online, launching their MAP (Mothers Against Predators) site to help educate children to the dangers of online predators.
When I was a kid, we didn’t have online pedophiles. Ours were right there on the streets, in the stores, using the same gimmicks to try to gain a child’s trust, turn that child against their families and into their arms. My parents were fierce defenders of the appropriateness of my friends, and refused to allow me to do some things that involved older men whose motives were unclear. It meant I wasn’t involved in trying to launch a kid’s TV network on local cable, because the man involved seemed too interested in children. They weren’t taking any chances they could prevent. I railed against their decisions at the time but accepted their reasoning. They were not comfortable with this 36 year old man’s interest in a 15 year old girl. I trusted my parents. I obeyed their decision–even though it meant not being on TV…
Point is, you’re the parent. Know what your child is doing on line. Talk to your kids about appropriate behavior on line, and limit their time on the computer. I don’t know if any tween or teen would ever really buy this, but it’s a truth of life: if what you’re doing is not something you can tell your folks about, then it’s wrong and you shouldn’t be doing it.
The MAP site is young, and doesn’t have a ton of helpful information up there yet. If you want more info about how to monitor or limit your child’s online activities, how to educate your child about safe computer use, and know where to report suspected inappropriate contact, take a look at MAP for the most basic of ideas. The Microsoft website has some good guidelines for how to prevent online predators, and Wired Safety probably has an answer for any question you can throw at them.
The best defense is an active, happy kid. Work on issues of self-esteem, and try to encourage social activities that involve face time with your child’s peer group. Isolated, bored, curious tweens and teens are the most vulnerable group.
Thanks to the Sun Sentinel for writing about this issue.
译文:
单亲妈妈们，你们可知道自己的孩子迷失在网络的那个地方吗？
所有小孩子都容易受到侵犯，但那些单亲家庭成长的孩子更容易成为那些网上大鳄（网上性侵犯者）的目标。一个29岁的男人对当时只有12岁的NOCOLE进行骚扰，他通过电脑网络闯进她的生活，获取她的信任，利用她的单纯，无所不用其极，当NOCLE与父亲发生争吵，他抓住这个机会，进入她内心的最深处。
单亲家庭的 nocole 回忆道： 我和父亲大打了一架，他安慰我说父亲打我是他的错，他还告诉我他很爱我。我心里想，只有他是对我最好的。
Nicole和她妈妈现在正在与这些网上大鳄进行对抗，建立了一个名为MAP（母亲大战网上大鳄）的网站，以此来帮助教育那些容易成为网上侵犯者的目标的孩子。
在我小的时候，并没有什么网上侵犯者，但那时候也有类似的人专门在大街，商店，用一些下三滥的手段来获取孩子的信任，令到孩子与家人对抗，投入他们的怀抱。我的父母对我的朋友也存有戒备之心，严禁我与一些年纪大一些的，动机不纯的男人交往，这意味着我不能参与当地电视台所制作儿童电视节目，因为节目里的男人看上去对孩子太感兴趣了，当时,我指责他们的决定，但我接受他们的解释。因为他们对于这个36岁的老男人对15岁女孩感兴趣的行为感到恶心。我相信我的父母。我也尊重他们的决定，尽管这意味着我不能上电视了...
重要的一点是，你才是父母，因此你有必要了解你的孩子在网上做什么。告诉孩子在网络上应该做什么，不该做什么，限制他们上网的时间。我不知道一个十几岁或几岁的孩子能否明白：如果你
现在所做的事情不能告诉你的亲人,那么那件事就一定是错的,你也不要继续做下去了.
MAP网站现在还是一个刚刚兴起的网站,上面的有用的信息还不足,若你想了解更多关于如何限制管住你的孩子的网上行为,如何教育孩子安全使用电脑的小窍门,又或是你想知道去哪里举报那些可以的人,那么就到MAP网站里的(http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/b5media/SoloMother/~3/274357729/http:/feeds.feedburner.com/~r/b5media/SoloMother/~3/274357729/www.wearemap.org看看,
微软网站上有一些关于如何防范网上大鳄和网上安全的指引,这些很棒的方法或许能帮助你对抗那些网络侵犯者
最好的防御方法就是让孩子变的活跃,幸福.着重他们的自尊心的培养,鼓励他们多参加与同龄儿童的社会活动.一个孤僻,无聊,好奇的孩子最容易成为网上大鳄的目标.
特别感谢阳光哨兵写此文章.