中国人的事最不好讲。
比如腐败。中国人喜欢腐败吗？当然不喜欢。提起腐败，中国人没有不咬牙切齿痛心疾首恨之入骨的。就连那些行贿受贿者，也未必当真喜欢腐败。如果不受贿即可财源滚滚，他为什么要冒丢官下狱的风险？如果不行贿就能通行无阻，他又为什么要拿自己的钱送人？
多数人是不喜欢腐败的。但他们又离不开腐败。事实上许多中国人一旦自己有事，首先想到的便是拉关系走后门请客送礼。如果所有的官员都当真既不吃请也不收礼，恐怕不少人就会怅然若失，心里空落落的，不知道自己的事到底办不办得成。所以，不反腐败是不行的，反得太厉害怕也不行。最好是留一条尾巴，限制在吃一两顿饭和收一两条烟的范围内，则皆大欢喜。
你说这都是逼出来的？也未必。比如公款吃喝，是大家都反对，都憎恶的。但如果你请那从未参加过的人一起来吃，则多半会欣然前往，且面有得色。可见他反对的并不是公款吃喝，而是别人有份自己却没有。因为自己没有份，便只好连公款吃喝一起反对。
显然，不是中国人说一套做一套，也不是中国人当前一套背后一套，而是为人处世的原则或法则太多，又往往互相矛盾。老祖宗留下了不少遗训，这些遗训常常都是要打架的。比方说，老祖宗谆谆教导我们，一个人，应该“见义勇为”，“路见不平，拔刀相助”，但同时又会告诫我们“少管闲事”，“各人自扫门前雪，休管他人瓦上霜”。那么，我们是管还是不管？哈！这你就不懂了。管不管，要看那事是不是“闲事”。如果是闲事，就不该管；不是闲事，就该管。所以，见义勇为是对的，袖手旁观也是对的。中国有句老话“公说公有理，婆说婆有理”，也就是说，有理没理，不光看讲不讲得出道理来，还要看你是“公”是“婆”。
这样一来，研究中国人“国民性”或“民族性”的人就麻烦了，他实在想不出该用哪一两个词或一两句话来概括中国人。比方说，中国人耿直却又圆滑，坦诚却又世故，多疑却又轻信，古板却又灵活，讲实惠却又重义气，尚礼仪却又少公德，主中庸却又走极端，美节俭却又喜排场，守古法却又赶时髦，知足常乐却又梦想暴发，烧香算命却又无宗教感，爱抱团儿却又好窝里斗，爱挑刺儿却又会打圆场，不爱管闲事却又爱说闲话，懂得“只争朝夕”的道理却又主张“慢慢来”，等等，等等。结果，中国地大物博、历史悠久，有着五千年灿烂的文化，在世界历史上最早“先富起来”，却又最终弄得“一穷二白”，因为“落后”而“挨打”。总之，中国人是不大容易看懂的。岂但外国人“看不懂”，便是中国人自己，也不一定“说得清”。
其实，就连“说不清”也是不对的。如果你用“说不清”三个字来概括中国人，保准有人立马表示反对：说不清？怎么说不清？我就说得清。然后，他会一五一十地说将起来，而且说得头头是道，说得旁边的人直点头。可是，点头又怎么样呢？他听张三讲的时候会点头，听李四讲的时候也会点头，因为张三李四讲的都对。但你要以为张三李四观点一致，那就大错特错了。他们的说法很可能正好相反—张三讲的是“公理”，而李四讲的是“婆理”。何况在中国，点头并不一定表示赞同（当然也不一定表示不赞同）。它可能是表示在倾听，或者表示礼貌，甚至只不过习惯动作而已。
中国人的事儿，实在是麻烦。
就说吃饭。中国人是最爱请客吃饭的。南方北方，都一样。但如何吃，吃什么，却不大相同。北方人请客吃饭，总是整一桌子菜，盘子叠盘子碗摞碗。那些菜，往往也都很实在，整个的鸡整个的鸭，整个的猪腿或羊腿，总之是大碗喝酒大块吃肉。南方的盘子就要小得多，菜的分量也少很多，几乎一筷子就可以夹完，但花色品种则比较丰富，一只鸡可以做好几种菜，一条鱼也可以两吃或者三吃。于是北方人就瞧不起南方人了，认为他们小气。南方人也看不上北方人，认为他们傻气。最好玩的是，他们都认为对方虚伪。北方人说，弄那么一点点菜，让人不敢下筷子，这是请的哪门子客？虚情假意吧？南方人则说，明明吃不完，还要不停地上菜，这是让人吃还是让人看？虚张声势嘛！那么到底谁虚伪？其实谁也不虚伪。北方人认为，既然诚心诚意请人家吃饭，就得让人能够放开肚皮吃，这样才实在。南方人则认为，实实在在地待人，就用不着铺张浪费。菜嘛，够吃就行，弄那么多干什么？如果是自己家里人吃饭，有这么摆谱的吗？没有吧？再说，弄那么多菜，岂不把人家当成了饭桶？还是能吃多少弄多少的好。这可真是“南辕北辙”，猴吃麻花儿—满拧。结果，他们虽然都很实在，却又都被认为是虚伪。
你看，同样是中国人，南方北方就大不一样。中国人，是不是很难说得清？
译文:
No One Understands Chinese People
The most difficult thing is to describe Chinese people.
For instance, corruption, do Chinese people like corruption? Of course, no! Every Chinese person hates it so much, so they grind teeth with bitter hatred the moment they hear the word. Even those who bribe or accept bribes may not really like being corrupted. Who would risk official positions if they were already making good money without accepting bribes? Who would give their own money away as a bribe if everything was done properly?
Most people do not like corruption, but they cannot live without it. In fact, the first thing that comes to their minds once they come across problems is to 'knock on the back door', which means to use personal connections and offer people banquets and presents. If there are officials who never accept banquets or presents, perhaps some people will feel empty, lost and disappointed, since they do not know whether their problems can be solved. Therefore, anti-corruption must be done but it can’t be overdone. The best solution is to limit the quantity of banquets and presents, everyone will be happy then.
Do you think people are forced to do all these things? Not necessarily. For example, everyone hates and opposes spending government funds on eating and drinking. However, if you invite people who have never been invited, probably they would be pleased to go and feel flattered. So it seems, if they are involved they will not oppose it. If they are not involved, they will definitely oppose it.
Obviously Chinese people have too many principles and rules of conduct, as a result they contradict each other. Please note it is not suggesting that Chinese people do not keep their word, or they do something different behind someone’s back. For instance, ancestors earnestly instructed us that a person should 'be ready to help others for a just cause', or 'help others when there is no justice', meanwhile they also warned us to 'mind our own business', 'only sweep snow in front of my door, do not mind frost on an other's roof'. In that case, should we help or not? Oh no! You cannot understand it, can you? To help or not, it depends on whether it is an important matter. If it is, do help; if it is not, do not help. Therefore, 'help others for a just cause' is right, 'watch with folded arms' is also right. There is an old Chinese saying: grandpa claims his reasons, grandma claims her reasons ALSO! In other words, whether it is reasonable, not just depends on explanations, also depends on who you are, grandpa or grandma.
As a result, it becomes troublesome for people who study Chinese 'national character' or 'nationalism', you can never come up with one or two words or a couple of sentences to summarize Chinese people. For instance, Chinese people are honest but slick, sincere but shrewd, skeptical but credulous, rigid but flexible, self-serving but loyal, sophisticated but inconsiderate, neutral but extreme, frugal but ostentatious, old-fashioned but fashionable, low maintenance but dreaming of fortune, superstitious but not religious, team-spirited but competitive, picky but mediating, rumorous but not nosy, understanding the value of time but advocating 'take things slowly', etc., etc.. Irrespective, China still has vast territory and abundant resources, a long history and splendid culture of 5,000 years. It was the first rich nation in world history, and then it became poor and was conquered due to being backwards. Anyway, it is not that easy to understand Chinese people. Not only do foreigners not understand, but also Chinese people themselves may not be able to explain clearly.
Actually it is not even proper not to be able to explain it. If you summarize Chinese people like that, surely someone will oppose it immediately by saying, 'Not be able to explain it? Why? I can explain it.' Then this person starts talking systematically in full detail, surely sounds clear and logical, until listeners nod their heads. However, does it matter? No, they will nod whoever they listen to, because whoever explains it is right. If you think each person who explains it has the same point, you are wrong. Their points are just opposite, because one claims grandpa's reasons, the other claims grandma's reasons. Nevertheless, nodding does not necessarily mean 'agree' in China (of course it does not necessarily mean 'disagree'). It perhaps shows that people are listening, or polite, or it is just a habit.
Chinese people's stories are really difficult to tell.
In terms of eating, Chinese people love to offer guests a banquet. South China and North China are the same, but how to eat and what to eat are not the same. Northerners always order many dishes to pile up on the table. Those dishes often are very solid, such as an entire chicken, a whole duck, or an entire leg of pork or lamb, it can be summarized as 'drink wine from big bowls and have big chunks of meat'. Southern dishes will be much smaller and have less amount on the plate, can almost be finished in one mouthful, but there is more variety. They can cook chicken and fish in different ways. So northerners look down on southerners, and think southerners are stingy. Southerners also look down on northerners, and think northerners are stupid. The funniest thing is that they both believe the other side is hypocritical. Northerners say, ‘Such a small amount of food, people dare not to touch it. What is the point of inviting people for a banquet? Are they just pretending to be nice?' Southerners say, 'obviously too many dishes to finish, but keep bringing more, is it a show or a meal? Are they bluffing!' In the end who is hypocritical? In fact, no one is. Northerners think that there should be plenty of food for people to enjoy if you sincerely invite people. Southerners think that you do not need to waste a lot to show that you are sincere, 'just enough' will do, what is the point of having too many dishes? Will you waste a lot if eating with family members? No! Furthermore, people are not ‘rice buckets’! It is better to prepare just the right amount. It is so-called 'act in a way that defeats one's purpose'. Both of them are considered to be hypocritical even though they are sincere.
You see, they are both Chinese people, but northerners and southerners are different. Chinese people are difficult to describe.